If a tree falls in the woods and one golfer hears…

It was a mixed day.  Started out feeling horrible and overwhelming, I felt like I would never get better and that I’ve been getting slowly worse over the past month.  On a few of the games I play, especially one where I hit the ball 10/12/15 feet and measure my accuracy, my stats seem to be going in the wrong direction and I can’t figure out what I’m doing to my game.  I’m not sure if it’s the conditions of the greens, the weather, my new stance, or a mental block, but I’ve not been happy with my training for some time now.  At times I think that I am just spinning my wheels out there without hope of moving forward.  I’ve also been questioning the point of it all.  At times I feel like nobody really cares and then wonder why I should.  It would be a LOT easier to go back into the workforce.  I could get comfortable going to work at a set time, coming home for dinner, doing whatever task my boss asks of me and then taking home a paycheck at the end of the week.  It would probably make my mom happy, too, to be in a “normal” job, that is.  I would be a lot less tired at the end of the day every day too, and would probably stop being sore for the first time in six months.

So, Dan, why are you doing this to yourself?  And, if nobody else cares, will you still follow through?

Yes, I say to myself with full conviction albeit slightly begrudgingly.  I will train for 10,000 hours no matter how bad some days are or how rough the weather gets out there.

Because…

This is my school.  This is where I learn about my potential as an average human, where I can look back years from now and honestly say I gave something my best shot, regardless of the outcome.  It would be a much easier life-path for me to give up and pursue a paying career, but there would always be a “what-if” nagging in the back of my brain.  So I have to do this not only because it’s the path that I have chosen, but also for my own piece of mind.  I will enjoy all of the good days along the way and manage to not suffer through the bad days by remembering that there is a greater goal at hand and a few bumps in the road are inevitable.

After an afternoon workout, I started feeling MUCH better.  I think that I might be addicted to exercise now, because I did not get any while in Seattle over the weekend and until today’s workout I felt like something was chemically off in my body.  Afterwords, I was feeling back to my normal self and went out to Heron where the biggest storm of the fall was dumping overhead.  It wasn’t too bad, though, because it was about 65 degrees so no matter how wet I got I was still enjoying being out there.  At one point, a rather large branch fell off of a tree and while looking at it the tree next to it completely fell.  I’d never seen a tree naturally fall.  It was quite the experience and much louder than you would think..

Feeling better now, it always helps to blog!  It’s supposed to be nice and sunny for the next three days, I’m going to soak up every second of it knowing that fall and winter are right around the corner!