Emotions

Anyone who’s ever played the game of golf knows that controlling your emotions in a round is about as easy as lying to the Spanish Inquisition (I admit this is an assumption, I’ve never dealt directly with said Inquisition). But, during a round on the golf course is really no place for getting overly emotional, especially in the negative direction, no matter how lousy the ball was struck. This is a lot easier said than done and when the bad times come they can come hard.

Today, I was beat up more than I ever thought possible on a golf course. Nothing worked and I was out of ideas by the 9th hole. All in all, my score wasn’t horrible, but it isn’t about score, it’s about not being able to do what you know you are perfectly able to do. Expectations… The connotations of that word have been discussed over and over on this site and it’s something that I am working my hardest at not having. Still, some times the shots or holes are so bad that they warrant an outburst of emotions, or at least it feels like they do. Today was just one of those days. I tried everything, but no matter what I did the ball landed behind a tree, or on a cart path, or skirted over a green, etc, etc, etc.. This isn’t exactly anything new, but at the end of the round one of the guys I often play with told me that he could visibly see me get deflated as the round progressed. I’m glad he pointed it out because that is something that in no way helps anyone do well and something that I need to work on over the coming 6,900 hours of The Dan Plan.

I want my rounds to proceed more like Jason Dufner’s. While watching him play golf, it’s nearly impossible to tell what type of shot he just hit. Whether he eagled or doubled the previous hole, you can’t read anything on Dufner’s face. I think he has a solid mental approach to the game and my goal now is to get to the point where my playing partner’s cannot tell what type of round I am having.

Last week I started working with a man who’s job it is to structure and help implement goals for people and corporations. We have set out a list of goals from fairways hit, feet putt, financing the plan, spreading the word, etc and when I talked with him about this he suggested I count the number of times where someone could see negative emotion in my expression or body language. Once we have this base number we have something to work with and can structure goals to lessen the amount of times where self-deflation spirals a round out of control. Today, that number might have been an extreme case, but I am certain that having a low morale created at least 5 extra strokes on the round. Keeping a level head and staying focussed will help the overall progression as well as provide a solid foundation in tournament play.

That’s what I am taking from today’s round. It was a painful 4-hour journey through the woods, something that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, but if there is a positive experience that I can take from it than it is part of the growing pains and an inevitable aspect of learning.

Thank you evil golf spirits from throwing me into the fire this day.

What does everyone else do for improving the mental game of golf?

15 Responses to "Emotions"

Martin says:

July 26, 2012 at 3:42 am

The better you get technically the more the mental side will become important. When you decided to get a handicap and start to measure rounds I thought you were starting that too early and that you should continue to develop the technical skills first. But now I think it was a good idea as it introduces the mental side of the game.

At the end of the day, there are thousands of guys who are almost technically perfect but only a few hundred that have the mental strength to compete at the top level.
Keep up the effort. You are making great progress.

Now, if only it would stop raining here in Ireland I might be able to do a bit of practice myself!
Sean says:

July 26, 2012 at 6:53 am

I am glad you touched on this. I feel that my emotions tend to ge the best of me and when things start to go bad they go bad quickly. There are a lot of great golfers in this world and what seperates the pros from the rest of us is their mental makeup.

When I get frustrated my playing partners tell me they see my swing speed increase ten fold. Do you find this as a problem as well?

Good luck in your ventures and hopefully you can control that negative energy
rick newton says:

July 26, 2012 at 8:02 am

working on this is in my game plan….easier as i get better lol

mental health…..I like the one frame comic of a guy holding a 45cal pistol on a green where his putt was two inches short. He points the gun at the ball and says
“let me just tap it in”

gota smile and move on. good luck
cdvillasenor says:

July 26, 2012 at 9:01 am

I like the Bob Rotella books. I’m currently reading “The Golfer’s Mind” and it a simple, easily applicable mental approach to golf. For me it sees like just enough to keep me going in the right direction without overloading. Just the simple thought of making a plan and making the best swing without worrying about the result has improved my game and overall enjoyment. I’m sure you’ll get back on track.
ballsandall says:

July 26, 2012 at 2:40 pm

+1for Dr Bob (Rotella) and his books.

‘Golf is Not a Game of Perfect’ is a great book, and not just for golfers.

For me, the first 9 is usually easy to stay focused and positive, but after checking scores after 9, all too often I stop enjoying the process, and start trying to plan out results. My current goal is to ensure that I enjoy making a swing and striking the ball for the whole 18.

The golf course is where I want to be…
Brice Richard says:

July 26, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Dan:::

I told you what you should do about the mental game. Have you read the Inner Game of Bowling like I’ve been preaching since I began contributing to your site’s comments?

If not, then it’s not surprising that you are feeling, shall we say, deflated in your game. You have got to have a solid mental game and that requires a fundamental understanding of that that means.

The book I’ve been advocating since day one (I know you haven’t read it yet), will teach you everything you need to know about the right mindset needed to be successful in the game of golf – or ANY competitive game for that matter.

Read it…….ASAP….then try a few rounds of golf; then blog about it and let me know how it worked for ya

Good luck…..
Charlie says:

July 26, 2012 at 10:50 pm

A few suggestions:

1) Pray
2) Briefly enumerate several things in the world that probably ARE worth being angry about. Nuclear weapons, assault rifles, spousal abuse, child abuse and neglect, human trafficking, homelessness… Then turn back to golf.
3) Remind yourself that the goal is to hit The Next Shot as well as you possibly can. Only a fool would attempt to change his last shot.
4) Vow to read “The Elements of Scoring” by Raymond Floyd. Its subtitle is “The Master’s Art of Scoring Your Best When You’re Not Playing Your Best.”
5) Imagine having to walk from central Washington to Pennsylvania via Maine because it hurts to run and you don’t accept rides.
6) Ask yourself WWJD? (What would Jason Dufner do?
Doug says:

July 27, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Bob Rotella books, I’m a touring Professional on the mini tours (Golfweek National Pro Golf Tour & Pepsi Tour)I had a lot of problems on the mental parts as well, tell one of the guys i played with in the Nat Pro Tour in Las Vegas told me to read Bob Rotella books and by reading the books it actualy helped me quit alot than i thought, more relaxed and believing in myself.

From Bob Rotella
10 Commandments of Golf:
I. Play to Play Great. Don’t play not to play poorly.
II. Love the challenge of the day, whatever it may be.
III. Get out of results and get into process.
IV. Know that nothing will bother or upset you on the golf course, and you will be in a great state of mind for every shot.
V. Playing with a feeling that the outcome doesn’t matter is almost always preferable to caring too much.
VI. Believe fully in yourself so you can play freely.
VII. See where you want the ball to go before every shot.
VIII. Be decisive, committed and clear.
IX. Be your own best friend.
X. Love your wedge and your putter.

Hope this helps.
dan says:

August 3, 2012 at 8:56 am

Martin,

Very true. The mental side is the elephant in the room for most people. So many golfers are technically sound, but just can’t break through when it counts. Working on that mental side right now..

Hope the rain stops in Ireland!
Dan
dan says:

August 3, 2012 at 8:58 am

Sean,

Definitely. I have to be aware of my tempo as, like you, when I hit a bad shot I tend to speed it up on the next one which typically produces a bad shot and faster tempo after… It’s a bad cycle. My coach has me deliberately slowing down after any poorly struck ball. It seems to help.

Dan
dan says:

August 3, 2012 at 9:39 am

Hi Brice,

I can’t find a place to buy it. Any suggestions?

Dan
dan says:

August 3, 2012 at 9:51 am

haha, Thanks Charlie

Good stuff.
dan says:

August 3, 2012 at 9:54 am

Hi Doug,

Thanks for posting this. Since you did I have referred to the list a number of times. I like Rotella and love having this list on the blog comments to check periodically.

Thanks!

Dan
Stephen says:

August 3, 2012 at 12:13 pm

One of the most interesting things I read in a Rotella book was the idea that you cannot control how well you play, you can only control your mental response to how well you play. Whilst it seems fairly evident that you can exercise control over your mental approach to the game, the notion that you cannot control how well you play in the first place is both fascinating and liberating to me. Sounds counter intuitive, but seems to be true in my experience – out on the course, the ONLY thing you can control is the mental side of your game. And once you realise that, two things happen: 1) you stop worrying so much (very useful) and 2) you truly understand how important your mindset is and you become more protective of it as a result.

Reminds me of a Seneca thing - he believed that anger and fits of temper could be attributed to a fairly fundamental error in reasoning. We get angry, he said, when we exist in a world that is NOT, rather than the world that IS. So if you were to hook a ball out of bounds on the course and get angry, Seneca would tell you that’s because at least part of you still exists in a world where you hit it straight down the fairway. The answer, therefore, is pure acceptance of what IS. And this all comes back to just playing the next shot.

All very easy to write, hugely difficult to put into practice. Good luck, Dan.
David Arnar says:

August 13, 2012 at 7:44 am

From my limited experience as a hacker at the game, you just have to analyse what went wrong, I sometimes take a full analysis of every shot and create detailed statistics for the round to see exactly were the problem lay. Sometimes it helps. Mostly it boils down to what Rotella says, taking one shot at a time and accept the outcome of the shot.

But I do know this, it often takes a genius to construct something, anyone can break things down.

Good luck with your project!

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