It’s not all smiles and roses

There have been a couple of tough days strung together this week. I won’t lie, there are times that being one’s own cheerleader takes it’s toll on things. Having the support of friends/family and the online community helps beyond belief, but still, the days where everything seems to not be working right and frustration sets in are inevitable. How we deal with them is, perhaps, what makes us who we are.

This is all part of the process of life and the learning curve. Striving for something takes a lot of work and, as most people know, work isn’t always fun. Most days, the work is acceptable as you can see some results start to come in, but there are days like today and yesterday where I feel like I am making huge strides in reverse and it takes everything I can muster to not beat myself up about it. I have learned over the past 25 months that these times always pass, but it never makes them much easier. Sometimes it would be easier to run away and hide, to be a kid and forget about things like paying bills, maintaining relationships, making media appearances, keeping up with emails and blogs, judging oneself on progress. But, that wouldn’t solve anything and in the long run would cause more depression than happiness.

We have to push on, regardless of how we might feel at that moment. It’s always easier to not do something and getting started is usually the hardest part of any project/activity. Still, it isn’t exactly easy to consistently and independently push oneself towards an unknown goal and right now I am tired of being the constant optimist.

Alas, this is just a passing phase, one of my bad days and I’m somewhat sorry for sharing this type of thing as I don’t want to be a downer for anyone out there, but I think it is important to know that it’s not all smiles and roses. I have to remain focussed on the goal every day and it has been about 770 days, so having a bad one or two isn’t all that awful, I suppose. For the record, nobody is out there telling me what to do, at all. I’m carrying this torch on my own and at times need a helping hand or slight shove in the right direction. I promise I will never waver from the goal, but can’t promise that every day will be amazing or even acceptable.

I’m going to head back to the course now. I played 9 holes earlier and think it’s a good time to play another 9 with the goal being to shift my mood, or at least see how I play in this type of mental state, because you never know how you might feel on the day of a competition and just because you are frustrated doesn’t mean you can take the day off.

Life is ever moving and there are always excuses. 99 percent of the time I feel like the luckiest person in the world. During this other 1 percent it’s good to vent then get back out to not dwell on the superficial.

Thank you for listening.

14 Responses to "It’s not all smiles and roses"

Marko Nikolic says:

May 23, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Hey Dan. When I’m feeling down, I take time to reflect. Most of the time, it makes me realize how lucky I am to be doing something I love. Even a bad day on the course is better than the best day in the office. Write down everything you like about your game and your life and read it every time you’re feeling down. Oh and also smile more, it will instantly make you happy!
Tom Kaminski says:

May 23, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Hey Dan,

Been there many times and makes it even harder when one is 60 years old, but my dream still lives (to play at least one tournament on the Champions Tour in 2015) it’s the pursuing that dies from time to time and that is where family, friends, etc. come in handy. Especially when you go to the course and hit everyball perfect and still walk away with a 115 score… Depressing as all hell…
Nick Chertock says:

May 23, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Dan: I would suggest taking a little break from golf. It’s a game, and it should be something fun. Even if you’re practicing for 10,000 hours it shouldn’t be work as in the activity people do that they’d rather not do but they get paid.
Dave Love says:

May 23, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Keep your head up buddy!
David Zook says:

May 23, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Though we are different fields and doing drastically different things, I know what you are going through. Being a pioneer is at times a very lonely and isolated place to be even though you have people around you. There are times, not often, that I feel like I am stranded on an island in middle of Pacific. When I fall into times like those, I try to stay focused on putting the right foot in front of the left AND look through the windshield rather than the rear view mirror. I know that if I stare in the rear view mirror too long, I will run into the ditch. Keep up the great work. Your dedication inspires me.
Tony Lawrence says:

May 24, 2012 at 12:24 am

It will pass, Dan. As I know you know. And an occasional whine is good. Get it off your chest. In, who knows, an hour or day or two, you’ll be back feeling the luckiest man in the world.
Martin says:

May 24, 2012 at 6:46 am

I hear ya man. Some days you just have to ‘write off’ and start again tomorrow.
Collin De Ruyck (Winnipeg) says:

May 24, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Hey From the North!!!

I hear every word your saying up there. As far as playing goes We are behind you as far as weather goes and tonight we just had our first “Men’s Night” at our country club in Winnipeg. It was cold, 40km winds and wet – needless to say that did not help matters much – tonight was a wreck!!! It was also my first time playing with any type of pressure on me since last fall. So not off to a good start for our short season and with my goals, like yours – it feels like a set back.

I did how ever manage to get to a 12 handi cap at the beginning of April with a early spring thaw but I soon, feeling the pressure of this summers tournaments coming up, managed to some how strain my left hip during practice, taking me out for almost three weeks of full swings. Its funny, I worked all winter and now it seems I have to train my body to do it again but this time, being heeled, to do it with out fear – which proves to be a battle. My lower body is staying stuck afraid to rotate cause it does not want to be hurt again.

Tell me why Dan were doing this again?????

ON a positive note, my swing is back to about 80% since the injury, maybe 90 depending on where my head is at. I will forward you links of how its looking as soon as I get them from my coach. HE says to me the other day while working on driver shots that my swing is pro, 5 years ahead of where my mental game is at which is where the issue these days is coming into play. This is going to be a fun summer for sure!!!

Chat soon Dan

Collin

Winnipeg Canada
Sima says:

May 25, 2012 at 12:41 am

Dan,

There’s a bunch of us out here rooting for you. I suspect most of us are also very happy to hear form time to time about moods, tantrums or misfortunes. That’s all part of the deal.

Nick’s comment is spot on. Whilst I certainly wouldn’t suggest you take a long break after one bad day, you are going to have to take a proper break at some point. Actually try to completely forget about golf for a while. It might be a good time to consider how you’d like to do this and when might be a good time. I know you’ve had a few days here and there, and the odd road trip, but I wonder how many days you’ve had when you’ve simply not thought about (perhaps not had time to think about) your golf game. Sometimes it’s the break that makes the work really count.

Once the 10,000hrs become like going to the office, maybe you should stop counting them. After all it’s about the hours of focussed practice and not simply about turning up every day.

Keep at it, and good luck!
Eugenio says:

May 25, 2012 at 4:01 am

Hi Dan,

I’ve been checking in on your page occasionally over the last year and your journey is extremely inspiring! I remember one of the first videos of you in the rain and now look where you are!

I would say try to practice how you wish to play. Practising stressed may lead to playing with stress. If there is no love in your heart when you hit that first stroke in the morning I think it better to take the day and reflect. I am finding that only when the nagging/commenting voice in my head subsides can I truly perform. I think in the East they call this “No mind”.

Anyway feel free to disagree as this is just my opinion! I am on the same journey and your day of agony is one I have felt on many occasions!

I wish you the best of luck! I’ll be watching!

Many thanks

Eugenio
Tom says:

May 25, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Hey Dan,

Expectations are a bitch. The best rounds are the easiest rounds and you never know when they will happen. Drop the expectations. Pick a score you never want to shoot (that you can break at least 80% of the time). Make it your goal to never shoot that score again.

I chose 90 as my score as a 6 handicap a few years ago. Sounds dumb, but when I am +12 through 11 holes, it is game on, not game over. I rarely play golf now (maybe three or four times a month), but I find I have less blow-up rounds now then when I was a 2 handicap in high school and let a three-putt become an out of bounds or a string of doubles and would let my 78s balloon to 90s.

What is important is not impressing yourself every day, but staying on the path to greatness.

-Tom
Jim Gillespie says:

May 25, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Dan, There is a wonderful quick read book by Og Mandino called “The Greatest Salesman In The World” if you get a chance to go over it do it. I have read it many times and always get something from it. Better days to come Dan.
Dave Cline says:

June 8, 2012 at 10:00 am

Here’s a trick to keep you going. It’s a technique you can use for either managing a dwindling resource or a expand growing one.

Get a large bag of marbles and a nice looking glass jar (a fishbowl or water pitcher will work).

For a dwindling resource, fill the far with as many marbles as you have resources. When you’ve used up a resource unit REMOVE a marble and throw it away.

For growing resources you’ll need to count out the number of marbles that equal the target total of the resource you wish to acquire. Count them out and put them in supply bag. Then when you’ve accomplished or collected a resource unit take a marble from the bag and ADD a marble to the jar.

If you live to be 100, you have 5200 Saturdays to enjoy. Remove a marble for each Saturday and watch them dwindle.

Or, watch as you grow your jar full of 10,000 marbles, one for every hour you spend mastering your skill.

This “jar of marbles” technique represents a visual incentive for sticking to the job at hand (golf master) or to avoid squandering a limited resource (time). It is a helpful reminder that big goals or vast resources are only affected by incremental changes.
dan says:

June 9, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Hi Dave,

Sounds like a good way to visualize progress. You happen to have 10,000 marbles on you

Thank you for the post,

Dan

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